It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
