my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
