clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
So vagazzling was a success
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
