She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
