I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
