So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
