I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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