shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
