i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I think my moral compass just broke
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize