it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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