One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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