so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
