we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
sarcasm needs its own font
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
