I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
