Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
