At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
