Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize