The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
