I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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