i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
