If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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