It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
My hand turned me down
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
