i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
