eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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