dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
