Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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