Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
