you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
