No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
