Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
