i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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