Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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