the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
