Her vagina should come with caution tape.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
organizing the empties. That sober.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
