She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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