you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
