But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
