Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
