Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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