My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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