Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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