I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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