i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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