I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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