I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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