I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Randomize
