my vag is so smooth its legendary
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
