All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
