Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
