If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Is this like a preordered booty call?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
