smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
