I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
