Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
