We should be called the Road Head Warriors
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
