My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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