Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
