I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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