mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize