trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
