your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
