New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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