So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
