so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
