to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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