clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
