Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
She needs sedatives and a leash
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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