the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize