Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
