So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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