Non-Jews are for practice
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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