But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize