she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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