Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
