A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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