she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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