i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize