people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
