So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
