just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
