Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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