how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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