I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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